You can be abused and not even know it.
And abuse of any kind is never your fault.

No one deserves to be abused. No one has the right to abuse another.

“They just lose their temper sometimes and throw things / hit me / call me stupid / withhold cash. When it’s over, they’re fine.”

It’s not fine. If we’re afraid to disappoint or contradict someone close to us because they might (over)react with physical or mental violence, then they are controlling us through fear.

That’s abuse. And it’s wrong.

Abusers use physical, sexual, digital, emotional, verbal, spiritual or financial control or combinations of these to gain and maintain control over their victims. Even if they don’t leave visible bruises, they’re still harming you. It’s still abuse.

How do I know?

If you answer “yes” to even one of these questions, you may be the victim of abuse:

Have you changed your normal activities to avoid upsetting your partner?
Does your partner pretend he/she is doing you a favor by staying with you?
Do you feel controlled or intimidated by your partner?
Do they follow or spy on you, leave threatening notes, texts or phone messages, make you leave location sharing active 24/7, or call to check in numerous times a day?
Do they force you to perform sexual acts when you don’t want to?
Are you afraid of your partner blowing up?
Have they damaged (or threatened to damage) your personal belongings as punishment or to get a reaction?
Does your partner withhold money, food, medicine or transportation from you?
Do they say no one else would care about you if they didn’t?
Do they insult you, call you names or make you feel stupid, useless or unworthy?
Have they ever hit, slapped, pushed, yanked on or kicked you in anger, even lightly?
Has your partner violated a protective order in the past?
Has your partner prevented you or the children from leaving by threatening physical harm?
Have they threatened to hurt or kill you, someone you love, a pet or themselves?
Have they injured you, your children or others enough to need medical attention?
Do they threaten you or those you love with weapons or other objects?

This treatment isn’t loving or caring. If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, call our 24/7 helpline at (317) 745-1496 and let’s figure out how get your life back.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911 right now.

If you need help or more information – even if you don’t need emergency shelter – call us.

Men are victims of domestic abuse, too.

More than 1 in 4 men (29%) in the United States experience rape, physical violence or stalking. And like women, they often face disbelief and ridicule when they have the courage to admit it.

Speak up, don’t cover it up!

If your relationship feels uncomfortable, tense or frightening, trust your feelings and get help. As you’re making arrangements to leave, you can take the following steps to protect yourself:

  • Call our 24/7 helpline at (317) 745-1496.
  • Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, counselor, doctor, neighbor or coworker.
  • Avoid being alone with your abuser.
  • Always carry a cell phone.
  • Save threatening or harassing texts and social media messages.
  • Begin creating a safety plan.

Nobody deserves to be abused. It may feel hopeless today but you can protect yourself and take back the control you’ve lost. There is always hope. We can help.

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