“The scripture is filled with examples of genuine masculinity; you could mine David’s story for probably a year by itself. And we have to get the masculinity of Jesus back. Not the pale-faced altar boy, but the man that made a weapon and cleared the temple, who boldly cast out demons and calmed the raging sea.” – John Eldredge
How do boys, teenagers, young men, middle aged men and even elders reconcile masculinity and chivalry with patriarchy and toxic masculinity? I was raised by my father, grandfathers and mentors to honor my grandmothers, my mother, my stepmother, my sisters (biological and step), aunts, girlfriends, partners, spouses and strangers through my actions, nonverbal communication and words. I suppose that many “enlightened” individuals would call me all kinds of names for how I go about my daily life. (Especially on Twitter…what a train wreck.)
When in college, and still now, I open and hold doors for all kinds of people. Sometimes, my family is at the car by the time the opportunity arises to pass the handle. Once, a friend of mine who was the Women’s University Club Soccer Goalie, said she was capable of getting her own door and to get in the car. I told her, “then our friendship will be at a crossroads. I will open your door to show that I care about you.” So often when we hear all the stories about how men acted this way or that way, and it’s not about the individual man. It’s about the collective, their opinions and their offense. (See Twitter.) Rarely, if ever, is the man involved asked why.
Males are 1/2 of how 100% of the warm- and cold-blooded creatures continue to populate. We are here to stay. There are things we do as men that make women wonder (like reenact WWE off a roof onto a folding table). Yet, there are many other things we do instinctively to ensure the safety of women, children and others. “Women and children first,” isn’t a catch phrase it’s a way of life.
I find it okay to; walk behind my family, put my family to my left when walking on a street, to carry paper boxes and unload delivery trucks for the ladies at work, clean up dog messes when home, pick up our teenagers when their cars break down, etc. These are some things that make up us males, along with many, many more.
It is all about balance as I see it. I am involved in my church, community, industries, social functions and a host of other things. Just like every other “Man IN Action”, I have a genuine part of me that knows what has to be done and I do it as an individual. There are times I sit back and watch but there are also my Popeye times when “I can’s stands it no more.” When the Popeye moments occur, the world is blessed to have men that clear temples, restrain losers and kiss babies.
-Bart Fisher
A Man IN Action
