Many people who have never been in an abusive relationship try to understand why someone would remain with an abuser and continue to endure controlling and violent behavior. One of the sad realities is the primary reason is often economic.
Janelle’s experience wasn’t unusual. “This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life,” she recalls. “I was a new mom and had a good career. I tried to put on a happy face because I felt that was what was expected of me.” What the outside world didn’t see was the struggle Janelle faced. “I felt alone, trapped, depressed and hopeless. I felt like I had no one to turn to. I was afraid to open up to others and felt like no one else could understand what it was like to be in my shoes. I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head or maybe if I was a better wife, maybe he wouldn’t treat me that way.”
The young mother was experiencing domestic abuse and it was intensifying. She knew something wasn’t right, and even if she wasn’t worried about protecting herself, she knew her baby girl deserved something better. But she didn’t think she could go anywhere else. “The biggest thing that held me back from leaving my abuser was I felt trapped by the fact that I couldn’t afford to put a roof over myself and my child’s head.”
The same is true for many victims of domestic violence, especially those who have children. They can’t figure out how they will provide for those young ones who depend upon them, so they convince themselves they can withstand the abuse … or maybe they convince themselves it will get better. But it doesn’t.
In time, Janelle’s desire for safety led her to investigate her options. “Sheltering Wings provided me with a safe and secure place to live. I was welcomed with open arms.” Embarrassment about her situation quickly evaporated.” I’ve received nothing but kindness and support from the staff and other residents. They never make me feel ashamed of my situation and have always encouraged me to see my strengths and realize the potential I have to create a better life for me and my daughter.”
Sheltering Wings provided a safe place, and our many supporters helped Janelle overcome the financial challenges. “The donations of diapers, daily hygiene products, household items, and food have been a blessing because it helps reduce the financial burden during this difficult time. Now I can focus my resources on making improvements in my life and making sure my child has the things she needs.”
That’s exactly what she did. “Going to the shelter was not an easy decision for me but I know now that it was the best decision I have made for myself and my child. I am more confident and sure of what I want in life. I don’t know where my life will take me but I realize I deserve to be treated with respect. No words can express how thankful I am for everything Sheltering Wings has done for me and the impact it has had on my life.”
