If you aren’t sure what actions are considered abusive, how to leave a bad relationship safely or what to do if the person you want to break up with threatens to harm themselves – you are not alone.
Most teenagers think “abuse” happens only to adults. In reality, many teens experience emotional, digital, physical and sexual abuse in their relationships.
Does the person you’re dating do any of the following? If so, you are probably in an abusive relationship:
Get very angry quickly, then be sweet and apologetic in the next minute.
Say “I love you” too quickly in the relationship.
Pressure you to do or say things you don’t want to.
Check your phone or social media often.
Insist on always knowing where you are.
Make fun of the way you look or insult your intelligence.
Get jealous and make you feel guilty when you hang out with others.
Physically hurt you (even a slap or a shove is violence).
Make you afraid of them.
Tell you no one else will ever like you.
Threaten to hurt themselves (or you) if you ever leave.
When your relationship feels wrong, trust your instincts.
If you can talk to your parents about your situation, please do. Some schools have a person designated to talk with students about bullying, dating abuse and sexual harassment, or you may have a teacher you trust enough to talk to.
The key is: Talk to someone you trust. You don’t have to go through it alone. Getting an outside perspective can help you separate emotions from reality.
If you have no one to talk to, please call the Sheltering Wings 24/7 helpline at (317) 745-1496 or contact us through Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. You can also reach the National Teen Dating Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233, by logging on to thehotline.org or by texting “loveis” to 22522 to chat with someone who can help.
You are not alone. Download our teen resource card.
LoveIsRespect.org offers support, information and advocacy to young people who have questions or concerns about their dating relationships.
If you need help or more information – even if you don’t need emergency shelter – call us.
Our youth council visits schools and groups of teens to talk about their own experiences with teen dating abuse. These brave and caring individuals understand better than anyone what you’re going through because they have been where you are.
Teens That Talk offers resources, recommends solutions, holds awareness-raising events, shares positive social media messages and hosts safe, intimate discussions where you can ask questions. If you’d like to get in touch with our youth council, contact us.
Young people are listening to what adults say even when they don’t appear to be. By showing nonjudgmental interest, you’ll encourage them to trust you – the first hurdle in helping any teenager.
You can ask them how they recognize a healthy relationship, what they’d do if a boyfriend/girlfriend needed to know where they were all the time, how they feel if the person they like doesn’t text them back.
Listen seriously when they say they’re uncomfortable with another person’s behavior or sad about a breakup. Try not to minimize their relationships with remarks like, “You’re young. You’ll get over it,” or “You’ll have plenty of boyfriends/girlfriends.”
1. Talk about personal boundaries.
Ask, “What are some examples of someone saying or doing something that crosses your personal boundaries? What can you say and do to communicate your personal boundaries?”
2. Share your own experiences.
We all were teenagers once, subject to the many heart-breaking and mean-spirited behaviors of our peers. Talk about what has made a relationship good or bad, and ask your teen what they think.
3. Include friends.
Ask if they’ve ever seen a couple act in a way that made them worried or uncomfortable, and what they would do in a similar situation. When you notice teens treating each other well, tell them you respect them for it.
Don’t be afraid to care. Download our Parent Resource Card. or Conversation Starters for preschool through high school.
24/7 Helpline (317) 745-1496 | Admin (317) 718-5460 | Fax (317) 745-1497 | P.O. Box 92, Danville, IN 46122
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