“My children, let us not love with words or in talk only. Let us love by what we do and in truth.” 1 John 3:18
Would you agree with me that we humans seem to have a difficult time getting “love” right? The two greatest commandments are to 1) Love God and 2) Love your neighbor.
And yet, here in America and all over the world, we see the sometimes tragic and even deadly outcomes of “love gone bad.”
Even the month of February offers telling contradictions when it comes to the topic of love. Of course, we all get our best effort of love going in showing our affections on Valentine’s Day. February is also “Teen Dating Violence Awareness” Month. Wow! There is a serious behavioral and lack-of-true-love problem among our teens. Some quick statistics:
- Every year, approximately 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner.
- 3 in 4 parents have never discussed teen dating violence and healthy dating relationships with their children.
As a Pastoral Counselor, I see that many teens’ behavioral issues are patterned after what they see modeled by key persons in their lives (e.g., Dad, Mom, Siblings, Coaches, Mentors, Friends). The most significant influencer of how love is expressed is the Father.
Sometimes Teens put up barriers to us talking about such critical topics. Here are a few quick tips to having a meaningful discussion and ongoing dialogue about love and Teen Dating Violence:
- Be the message by modeling Christlike love and respect for women and young girls. (Note: Don’t proceed to the remaining steps until you are truly modeling this well.)
- Ask your teens for their thoughts on what love should look like and be like … have a dialogue. Listen well!
- Ask if you can share your perspective, or if they would like to hear some of your thoughts and lessons learned.
- Continue to repeat Steps 1-3; especially Step 1!
Men, we can do this!
John Money
Husband and Father
Pastoral Counselor at Care To Change
Business Owner, IT Project Management Consulting
A Man IN Action
