The definition of awake-up call? For Stacy Paetz, it was when she heard the devastating news that a closechildhood friend had been shot and killed by her ex-fiance. Chillingly, the friend whocalled to tell her about the tragedy added, “Stacy, we thought it was you.”
At the time Stacy was involved in a three-and-a-half year relationship with a boyfriend who was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. “I knew it wasn’t right after just eight months,” says Stacy, “but I was afraid to distance myself from him.” And, she admits, “I was ashamed of what was happening. I felt that I was a strong person. I was a good student, a three-sport athlete and had a loving family. But he stole my self-esteem. He would tell me that it was my fault when he lost control. If I hadn’t acted a certain way, he wouldn’t have reacted badly. He wouldn’t have laid his hands on me. And I believed him.” But then it got even worse. “He said if I ever left him, he would mess me up so bad nobody
else would want me. He even threatened to kill me.”
In talking about the murder of her childhood friend, Stacy grows emotional. “I knew she was in an abusive relationship just like me. I would plan for us both to break up with our boyfriends together. When she was killed it was a major reality check.” Stacy adds “The closer I got to the Lord the more I realized I had the power to make a change in my life.” Her growing confidence along with the fear that what had happened to her friend could just as easily happen to her galvanized Stacy to take the step she knew she had to take. “By that time my boyfriend had graduatedand lived in another state. I broke up with him over the phone.” Even though she wanted to tell him exactly how she felt about what she had endured, Stacy says, “I kept the conversation very matter-of-fact, and asked him not to call me back. He called every ten minutes for the next two weeks.” She never answered the phone.
Fortunately Stacy escaped the dangerous relationship she had been in and was able to move on with her life. Today she is a successful sideline reporter for the Indiana Pacers and says,
“People who know me now can’t believe something like that could have happened to me.” Because of her experience Stacy is determined to help other women trapped in similar situations. Two years ago she was invited to tour Sheltering Wings.
“When I first toured the shelter,” says Stacy, “I felt so safe. I felt that had I known about this place when I was a college freshman, I would have had somewhere to go and learn and
grow and know that I didn’t deserve to be in the kind of relationship I was in. That it was wrong.” Since that day Stacy has become one of the shelter’s strongest supporters. She says, “Sheltering Wings is one of those amazing places with amazing individuals with such big hearts and the willingness and the desire to help women get out of situations they didn’t feel they could get out of. This is a place where they can go not only to feel safe and protected but also to learn that they can be the women they want to be. And live the lives they
are supposed to live.” Stacy acknowledges it’s hard to talk about her personal
experience with domestic abuse, but feels that ultimately “If I can keep women safe and help them get out of a bad relationship then it’s worth it. If telling my story is the way
I can help save lives then I will tell it to the world.”
If you know of someone or are that someone who needs help please call 317-745-1496 or send a confidential email to [email protected].
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