I need help. These three incredibly simple words are some of the most difficult ones for us, as men, to share with another person. Asking for help can force us to confront a flood of self-reflection. It’s often easier to keep struggling than to face those issues and risk failure. Why do I need help? Why am I not enough for this person whom I am in a relationship with? If I can’t figure this out, am I really qualified for this job? Does my need for help mean I am broken?
We don’t tend to go through these self-diagnosing questions when we choose to not ask for help because they are wired deep inside of our hearts and minds, but there are questions of inadequacy swimming around waiting to surface when we sense that we, in fact, might not be able to do something on our own.
What would it look like for you to ask for help? My wife and I are not communicating well right now, can you help us find a common language to better express how we are feeling? I am trying to figure this project out at work, can you give me an extra set of eyes to process this solution? I am stuck in my life right now and I am not sure what my next step should be, can you help me figure out my next step? I am caught in an addiction and feel like everything is spiraling out of control, I can’t do this on my own anymore will you help me?
All of these scenarios require a level of humility to realize that we can’t do everything on our own but the request for help does not strip us of our dignity. In each case we are actually leaning into the strength of someone else to ultimately make us stronger. Let us get rid of the stigma that asking for help means you are weak and realize that with someone else’s help you will actually become the strongest version of yourself.
Sean Wilson
Community Pastor at Northview Christian Church
A Man IN Action
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