When Survivors Seek Guidance from Faith Leaders
With gratitude,
Cassie Mecklenburg
Executive Director
Domestic Violence Awareness & Prevention Month
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When Survivors Seek Guidance from Faith Leaders
This was a conversation between Sheltering Wings Executive Director Cassie Mecklenburg and Jarod Haskell, Foundations, Corporations and Church Relations Officer.
Cassie:
Hi, I am here today with Jarod Haskell. Joel is on our Development Team and he works with churches. The reason we wanted to come and talk today is because we know that churches are such an important part of our mission. We hear from survivors who share with us all the time how they will go oftentimes to their pastor, lay leader or another member of their congregation to confide in them about what they’re experiencing as it pertains to domestic abuse.
Joel:
Yeah, Cassie, our faith leaders experience this all the time. Actually, 85% have counseled at least 6 domestic abuse survivors, and a 2/3 pastors believe that is happening in their congregations.
Cassie:
What we hear from a lot of the families that we serve is that they are so committed to their vows, and they just take so seriously that “till death do us part.” We appreciate that and we value that, but there’s also a cautionary tale in that. We want to make sure that people are in relationships that are grounded on a healthy depiction of love, not based on control and manipulation.
Joel:
Domestic abuse has no place in God’s plan for us. We hear about God’s plan when we see Paul talking about marriage and the role of spouses in Ephesians chapter 5.
Cassie:
When we have conversations, or when we hear conversations about that passage, the primary focus is oftentimes on wives submitting to their husbands. And it comes from verse 22, where it says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord,” (NIV). But submission looks like understanding, support and care as a helpmate, not something that is dominated by a domineering perspective.
Joel:
And later on, in chapter five, Paul talks about the husband’s role. He discusses Christ’s leadership for the church, and how Christ cares and cherishes the church. Paul talks about how a husband’s role is to care for and cherish his wife, also in relationship giving, and not so much getting.
Cassie:
What I’m hearing as we’re talking about this is really focused on being Christ-like. For spouses in particular, it means supporting one another, cherishing one another, caring for one another, and not being in the midst of relationships that are based on manipulation and danger.
Joel:
Being Christ-like means caring for and serving one another. And that means caring for and serving our families.
Cassie:
So, if you’re a faith leader or a member of a congregation, and you want to talk a little bit more about this, there’s a couple ways that you can reach out. You can reach out to us directly, or visit website at shelteringwings.org.
