This Summer, Let the Kids Play
We’re into a summer that may be filled with kids’ sporting events again. Are we ready?
YES! Of course we’re ready to be outside, cheering our children on in the sport of their choice. We’ve all been cooped up for far too long.
But, are we really ready? Are we ready to be cheerleaders on the sidelines – and not parents who get so angry at what we perceive to be a bad call by an umpire or a slight by a coach that we end up screaming obscenities from those sidelines? Charging onto the field to give someone a piece of our minds? Getting into a fight with another parent? Or worse, yelling at our kids because they didn’t live up to our expectations?
It’s a real problem. According to a 2019 survey by the National Association of Sports Officials, more than 75% of high school sports officials quit because of the abusive behavior of adults during games.
The most disturbing issue, though, is the effect such a parent can have on their child. Seeing a parent become verbally, emotionally or physically abusive to another person can be an adverse childhood experience (ACE), a form of trauma. The more ACEs a young person is exposed to, the more at risk he or she is for becoming abusive as an adult.
Take a mental walk in their shoes. Though we may believe we are defending our child or speaking out for “what’s right,” we are doing more harm than good.
Jarod Turner, executive director of the Avon Junior Athletic Association and a member of our Men IN Action group, once wrote about how we as parents influence the people our children will become. “We must let our children see us model appropriate behaviors,” he wrote. He also described tolerance, “the willingness to demonstrate respect and patience with people who hold opinions that differ from your own. It is a godly character trait.”
Think about being a responsible member of your community and creating an inclusive, welcoming atmosphere for everyone in it. Research shows that young people who perceive that adults in the community value them are more likely to grow up healthy, exhibit leadership, value diversity and succeed in school. Showing them respect on the playing field is a great step in the right direction.
So, this summer, remember that your child wants you to be proud of them, that’s all. Smile, cheer and give them a hug … and if you feel your temper rising, take a walk.
“Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” -Ephesians 6:4
