Sammie and her brother have been with us for a little while now. Mom had called us a few times and described her abuse as physical, emotional and verbal. Her greatest fear was how she would provide for her children. With our encouragement, mom decided things were getting worse and she needed our help. A protective order was put in place and a bit later, they arrived at the shelter.
It’s been a bit of an adjustment to living here, but the kids are thriving. Recently, a staff member observed Sammie and her brother, Jake out in our backyard. Sammie was learning to ride a bike without training wheels while being coached by her older brother. Jake held onto the bike, running alongside her.
She yelled, “But I’m so scared! Don’t let go!” He encouraged her all along the way, “It’s ok. I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.” Sure enough, after a lap or two around our bike path, she got the hang of it. After a time of Jake supporting the bike and giving her praise, he knew she was ready. Jake let go. Sammie took off on her own and completed her goal… she was able to ride without Jake’s hand holding the bike. Jake released the bike but continued to cheer her on!
She was so excited. She had done it on her own! She found independence in taking off the training wheels.
This is not unlike how many of our residents feel. They start the process not sure how to reach their goals. They need our help to encourage them. Our Advocates and Case Managers are there to hold them steady and to say “you can do this.” They are guided towards resources and get help navigating their path. Support is offered in emotional and mental health, parenting, education, employment and financial arenas, all in the hopes of moving the survivor towards becoming stable and independent.
When they save enough for an apartment, pass their high school equivalency exam or get a job, the exclamation of fears quickly changes to cheers. Freedom! Self-sufficiency! And just like with Jake encouraging Sammie, the support may look different… no longer holding the bike but in letting go and cheering. Our hope is to send those we serve on their way with cheering and fanfare. It’s not enough to simply help a person get out of an abusive relationship; we help them build stable and independent lives.
