Each person who comes to Sheltering Wings brings their own experiences, their own stories, and their own challenges, but they all have taken an important first step on similar journeys.
The goal isn’t simply to stop the domestic abuse that has dominated their waking hours. It isn’t to put them in a place where they can hide from their abuser and the world. It isn’t to pat them on the shoulder and tell them everything will be all right.
The goal is to transform them from domestic violence victims into strong, independent individuals capable of looking out for their own best interests, and of setting and achieving their own goals. Our first priority is to protect them and provide a safe place for them to live, but almost immediately, we begin to develop an understanding of their unique needs in 11 different areas of life and develop a plan to address them. It may be that someone hasn’t been allowed to work for years and needs sharper job skills. Or it may be that years of abuse have damaged someone’s self-confidence. Maybe someone desperately wants to be a better parent, but never had the resources to learn how. In each case, we identify the right steps to help and begin to track each resident’s progress.
We help them update their resumes, search for jobs, create budgets, pursue their high school equivalency diplomas and vocational training, prepare for court appearances, and find transportation to take them to from important appointments. When we don’t have the exact resources they need, we look to a network of supporters in the community to fill the gaps.
They don’t go through this journey alone. Our Life Skills Advocates and Case Managers walk alongside them, providing extra encouragement and loving corrections when those are needed. Mentors help them by modeling the skills we all need to get through each day and by listening attentively to their dreams, hopes, and fears.
We watch them grow and gain confidence. One of the most touching moments is the first time we see someone who had arrived with so much fear she couldn’t make eye contact reach out to a new arrival and reassure her. The women and the kids support each other. They develop and enforce high expectations for one another.
Then comes the day when it’s time to walk out the doors and head for their own place to live. By now, they’ve checked off many of the boxes on their plan. There’s a glow in their eyes and their shoulders seem to be higher. They’ve finally taken control of their life and know how to keep themselves safe from abuse in the future. At long last, they’ve achieved true independence.
